“You need to spend time crawling alone through shadows to truly appreciate what it is to stand in the sun.” ―Shaun Hick
One of the most evil things we deal with each year is ‘Spring Forward’, where the clocks go ahead one hour. I’ve already been robbed of quality sleep for damn near a month, and this will only add to that. The birds are awake too damn early and my bedroom faces East, so what’s in my darkened room right this minute? The mother-fucking SUN. PURE EVIL.
If you’ve never heard me talk about how I am paler than most corpses (One of my best friends calls it “the beautiful Snow White complexion”. Everyone else asks if I’m sick and suggests I “get a tan”.), you know why the sun is such an issue for me. I probably wear more sunscreen than is considered normal, but when you’ve lost multiple family members to various forms of cancer, you really shouldn’t take any unnecessary chances with your skin. It’s one of those things that is with you for your entire life. I am also highly photosensitive, so I avoid the sun and bright lights like the plague. I wear sunglasses at night because people’s headlights make me want to die, especially those attached to newer cars. I also avoid fake people, simply because they piss me off. 😛
Some people look forward to Spring, as a precursor to Summer. They look forward to being outside as often as possible, to flowers, gardening, etc. I do not, though I’d love a nice herb & veggie garden. Sadly, the green thumb went to a different relative. If I could find a climate where it was 65 degrees year-round, that is precisely where I would move. Once it’s below 40 degrees, I go into terrible Fibro flare. Once it goes over 70 degrees, I’m convinced I’m melting and I also flare up with ease. Extreme temperatures and I do not mesh well. It’s hard to believe I used to go out in single digits temperatures, or lower, with soaking wet hair all winter long. Times, they are changin’.
I had plans for today that suddenly went poof yesterday because a family member is sick (read: whining like a big fucking baby.) and apparently requires a round-the-clock nurse/maid because he is refusing to go to Urgent Care or the Emergency Room. I am LIVID that I got roped into this. Payback is a bitch, and he’d best be prepared for what I have in store because he waited until the very last minute, knowing full well I had places to be today. Yes, I can do most of these things another day, but that’s not the point. Sometimes you need “me time” to breathe and take care of yourself. Today was supposed to be that time for me, even if only for a few hours. I could attempt it tomorrow, but “Spring Forward” always screws with me badly for the first few weeks, so I don’t anticipate being able to get out early. On the plus side, one place IS open 24 hours, so if I really want to get those things done, I can still go, even if it’s later on in the day.
So now, on very little sleep, I’m off in search of something just slightly caffeinated (because I’ve already taken two Excedrin Tension Headache capsules and that’s enough to keep me awake for three days straight. Plus, I’ve mentioned my caffeine detox, right?) so I can have a little breakfast and watch Banshee. After that, I’m contemplating drowning myself (I’m KIDDING. The last thing I need is one more idiot taking my words and tone out of context!). In all seriousness, that probably can’t happen in the shower, but at the very least, it means I get privacy and silence for an hour or so. After I thoroughly Lysol the place to make sure his infectedness does not decide to hop on board. It might seem like overkill, but I really cannot afford to be any sicker than I already am. If I wasn’t mildly concerned, I would have already strangled him for waking me up with his coughing and kvetching. If I didn’t have real evidence of the illness, I’d think he was one of the greatest performance artists of all time, because the drama is off the charts.
Whatever your plans are today, I hope they’re the exact opposite of mine. Enjoy your weekend. Visit with friends, see a movie, read a great book, do something for YOU. If you’re miserable or feeling lonely, look into adopting a pet. They’re great company and will utterly ignore you just as completely as a person. However, they are often far superior in terms of company.
copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.