Short of walking around Bucks County with the words “Open For Business” on a t-shirt (I can only imagine the perverts that would descend upon THAT!), I cannot emphasize enough that I am a writer, an editor, and for the love of all that is Holy, hire me.

At least I haven’t lost my sense of humor. Now it’s time to troll the frat houses… (I’m KIDDING. It’s Saturday, and raining. LMAO.)