Saturday Morning Humor

I have been lucky (and not so lucky) to read a LOT of books long before they were ever published. The other day I was asked how crucial the editing process is. I said “As an editor, making sure your work is properly edited and not riddled with mistakes and errors is of the utmost importance. I cringe whenever I see something poorly edited.” I expected no response whatsoever, because really, why would I?

Then I noticed that what I said DID raise a comment, and it went a little something like this “Then how do you explain Fifty Shades Of Grey being published?!” I had the hardest time not laughing. I go from speaking from experience to being blamed for work I didn’t even edit! I’m pretty damn sure I was not credited as EL James’ editor, and if I was, I want a retraction, STAT.

I did respond to the ludicrous comment, only because editors aren’t publishers. We can push something and market it to death to a literary agent, but even that really isn’t our job. Marketability is not what I get paid, or in this case blamed, to do. However, as an editor, I do believe in letting the author know precisely how marketable their work is and which direction to take it in.

I’ve told people exactly which agents to submit queries to. A lot of people are first-time writers, have never been published, and even though they have a finished product, they have absolutely no idea what to do with it after the first edit. I advise, but unless I’m on contract, I do not do more than an extremely thorough edit with notes. In most cases, I am the first edit or the last before submission. Some books, while incredibly brilliant, never see the light of day. That is why more and more people are self-publishing and/or going through smaller publishing houses. It’s not an easy process, yet people seem to believe that it is because way too many idiots are on the New York Times Best Sellers List. Only 60% of them have true talent (Hell, I read their books!), and sometimes the numbers are higher or lower, depending on the month. Hand me a book, I will find the errors in the editing and grammar. And yes, it always makes me cringe.

As the consumer, and this goes for me as well, if you don’t like something, don’t fucking read it. Save your receipts, return whatever it is you disliked, and get something new or get a store credit. But don’t blame the editors of the world for what other people write!

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

lifeisnot

I’m Fried!

After editing for ten hours yesterday, I am completely fried to a crisp. It’s going to take a while before my back, neck, and shoulder feel normal again. I did yoga stretches to loosen all of my muscles when I was done for the day yesterday, and then I covered all the affected problem spots I could reach with Icy/Hot. Once it kicked in, I passed out. That’s what I get for waking up super early and going straight to work. The only bonus, I got to do that work in my PJ’s.

Note to self: You don’t need to keep saying “Five more pages.” That’s like saying you’re going to read “just one chapter” of a book before bed, and after a while, you notice it’s light outside. These are ridiculous lies we tell ourselves. The fact that I managed to do so much work this weekend AND finish reading a book is a testament to my own stupidity. As I edit this week, and prep for the arrival of someone very special, I have another book to finish reading. Yes, that is pure overkill, but the truth nonetheless.

As a side note for all my fellow writers out there: Do NOT argue with the person that knows where the apostrophes and commas go. Chances are, that person knows their shit.

youcantstart

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

You Never Know How Many Books You Own Until…

You Never Know How Many Books You Own Until…

Go ahead, ask me what I do at 3:00 a.m. when I can’t sleep? Apparently today, organize my bookcases was high up on the list. I have no idea why because they’re all behind my couch and I don’t look at them much, but after uncovering a storage container FULL of books I have not laid eyes on since 2008 a few weeks ago, I’ve been on a bit of a mission.

If you’re like me, it’s not enough that they be neat and organized on a shelf. No, you go so far as to alphabetize them by author, and separate them by genre. I started with the Kabbalah books and all things Judaic, and worked my way to Dark Urban Fantasy. Don’t ask me to explain that since it’s an odd order, but I can say it wasn’t long before I was six feet in the air cleaning off shelves so as to store my first edition hard covers that I love so dearly. I am currently stuck on the letter H. Mind you, I have to get from H all the way to T in order to be “done”. Then, I move on to DVD’s to accompany some of the books. I suppose it’s a good thing that not everyone has a TV show or movie right now, or I’m pretty sure I’d be doing this until the year 2020. All embarrassing books I will never admit to having read and have absolutely no knowledge of have been donated to my local library. Trust me, they made out like bandits.

If I wrote as much as I read, I’d be able to…well, never mind what I’d be able to do.

Later today I will be sore and achy from all that time spent making sure I got the books in the right order. I am still missing a lot for H and I am determined to find the missing books so that I can finish my project. I will go through the books in my bedroom next and add them to “the pile” to go downstairs. I’m sure there are plenty hidden up here, stashed away like I’ll never be allowed to have another book again.

Truth be told, someone SHOULD keep the books away from me so I can return to my own fictional world and write, like I’m supposed to. 4000 words was a nice victory yesterday, but chapter 100 isn’t going to finish writing itself, so a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do. Hit the keys, and make magic happen.

Off to work I go…

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copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Monday

monday

Mondays always creep up on us, unless there happens to be a three day weekend. For the past two weeks, my Mondays have simply been filled with stress. If there’s anything I need less of, it would be stress. If there’s one thing I need more of, it would be sleep.

Today, I shall try to get some writing done, and some paperwork prepped for tomorrow’s mail. I will also try to finish the two books I am currently reading (The Revenge Of Seven by Pittacus Lore and The Maze Runner by James Dashner), mostly because they go back on the 26th and I can’t renew them at the moment. I finished Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn over the weekend and all I can say about it is that it is eerily brilliant, and slightly terrifying. It also reminds me of a quote “You never truly know the person you marry.” In many instances, this is way too true.

I hope everyone has a great week. Please leave comments on whatever you desire and share your book finds with me as well. 🙂