Humor

Vampires

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Subsists on Blueberry Cobbler Coffee, Dark Chocolate, Earl Grey Tea, and wears copious amounts of SPF 100. Dislikes the majority of people. Is not outdoorsy. Needs her “beauty sleep”, is a rabid beast if she doesn’t get said sleep, and I legitimately don’t have a single wrinkle on my face. Now we know how rumors get started. 😉

Tossing Humor Around

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I’ve experienced this type of situation. The interaction went like this: Cashier: “Do you want it warmed up?” Customer: “Can you like toast it in the microwave or something?” Me: Oh.My.GOD. My brother: “You can’t hit her.” Me: “Why is there a Valley girl on line ahead of me? I just want coffee!? And I don’t speak like an idiot.” My brother: “You can’t punch her or knock her out. The cops are too close and there are cameras here.” Me, after she gets her “toasted in the microwave item”: “How do people like that FUNCTION in this world?” Person behind me: “Watch, she’ll be a politician or a politician’s hooker.” #WelcomeToNewYork