Feeling Like A Hostage Negotiator

What’s the holdup? Basically, my laptop will no longer charge and needs to be replaced. It’s been too long already without being able to write, and I’m slowly losing my mind.

I’m trying to hunt down a temporary replacement. Something used since I can’t yet afford the model I need, and the manufacturer doesn’t offer financing. $50 a month I can do, but I’m only seeing the model from their website. Apparently it’s not offered in most stores. Who the hell wants a laptop without a DVD player/burner? Not I. Occasionally, a girl wants to add music to her extensive library, watch a movie, or add new software. I feel like this is common sense stuff.

Almost thought I found one Wednesday night, but as soon as I asked questions, the person pulled the Marketplace listing. 😒 Yesterday, he relisted the laptop for 60% more than what he was asking for originally, and I’m suspicious that he’s got ten laptops listed. Call me crazy! 🤷

My local library does allow you to use their computers, but it’s a nearly five mile trek to and fro for two hours of use. Not a bad way to get some exercise, but I hurt myself going up there last week. I came back with burns on my feet, wearing walking sneakers that I rarely wear. I bought them because the money helped support the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Walk. I’ve never had an issue wearing them before, but I had to perform immediate first-aid. Yeah, I know. 😒 For the record, it wasn’t hot and I don’t know why it happened. I do feel my lower back injury is causing me to walk funny. I still have a burn on one foot and a healing burn on the other.

I’m doing my best to get this situation fixed. My brother would have given me most of the money I need for a new laptop, but he has missed a considerable amount of work due to his heart issues. He will be having surgery in early July. I refuse to take a penny from him when I know he’s saving for rent and food. I’m praying the surgery will be a success and that, as the surgeon told him, he will be back to work with 2-3 days. I’m not sure I believe that, as he still has unhealed issues from his first heart operation. This isn’t an extremely invasive procedure, but I suspect I did more research than he will. I’m concerned, obviously.

Overall, I’m dealing with a lot of stressful situations all at once. I’m praying for positive energy and positive solutions. I’m doing my best, but right now, I feel like a hostage negotiator in my own life. I feel immensely trapped, stuck, and I’m trying to calm down and get on everything. One day at a time, I guess.

I’m working on it all. Fingers crossed. I know better days are ahead, but I don’t have a timeframe. I’ll keep you all posted. In the meantime, I’ll be buying some additional notebooks and draining a pen or three.

Have a great weekend, everyone.





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