Zombie Lisa

I had something great planned, and then insomnia bit and there’s no way I will be able to put the finishing touches on it this morning. Perhaps later or tomorrow. At the moment, I am in desperate need of serious sleep. I am so tired, I’m shaking. 😦

I’ve had four migraines and a couple of minor headaches since going back on Topamax. I increased the dose to 50 mgs a few days ago accidentally. I went to have breakfast one morning and I was running late. I misplaced the pill I’d set aside, and ended up taking two without realizing it. However, once I’d done it I decided it was probably safe to keep doing, though I’m afraid to move to 75 mgs any time soon. I am not 1000% certain it’s the medication because this has never happened to me before. It could be any number of things, but I highly suspect this medication is turning me into a crazy bitch. I don’t say this lightly and if anyone else ever said it I’d knock their teeth out because there’s nothing funny about it. (I have since added three different apps to my phone because these pills are tiny and you never know when you’re going to need a reminder. It takes a split second to drop one and think you’ve taken it.)

It could be stress, hormones, not sleeping well, a combination of all three, or it could be a side effect of the medication. It DOES make me really sick if I go past 125 mgs, so I just asked Case Study One if I’ve been crazier/bitchier than usual. I’m pretty sure he told me to wash my face, brush my teeth, and go the fuck to bed. Truth is, I know he was avoiding answering the question. I’m not sure why men think valid health questions are “tricks”.

The physical pain is still a constant. I have my good days and my bad days. This will always be true. I spent several hours researching some new pain treatments yesterday and I will be going over them with the next doctor I see, which will hopefully be soon. When I actually look forward to seeing a doctor, it’s safe to say that hell has frozen over and become a ski resort. Take blood, run tests, and write me out all the necessary prescriptions. All I care about is feeling better.

All bets are off if the doctor says one insulting, mean-spirited, unnecessary word. I have Fibromyalgia, I’m not in your office for heroin.