Grey Days

Waking up this morning, you never would have known it was 7:00 a.m. on a Saturday. It’s so dark out that even though rain was not predicted, I suspect it is getting close. That’s okay, because I like the grey days.

A ‘grey day’ for most people might mean depression, but for me, it tends to be more about creativity. I am, quite honestly, locked in my room with my computer. It’s drowning out all the bullshit and drama, and allowing me to focus on what I truly want and need to do.

Drawing out creativity isn’t something you can truly schedule. There are days you can sit and stare at the screen, and nothing happens. I try not to push myself. I write and revise when I am feeling it. I go over other people’s work because it’s my job, but it is also my job to write my own material and make sure it’s cleaner than a hostel shower.

I cannot begin to say how many times someone has told me they’re sending me a “clean manuscript”, and the end result is me wanting to yank all of my hair out of my head because it is riddled with errors and is anything, but “clean”. In fact, it ends up redefining the words “first draft”. Alas, all you can do is fix it, provide notes and suggestions, and then send them on their way. Once your portion of the job is complete, you’re usually out of the picture. Not so with your own work.

Book #1 is important to me (They all are.). It’s not the first thing I’ve ever written, it certainly won’t be the last, but it is important. If I’m putting my name on it, it cannot be shit because I will not allow it. Thankfully, I’ve been writing so long that I know when I’ve written quality and I definitely know when I’ve written “filler”. Since I don’t get paid to write “filler”, I also know when to cut. The writer’s group I belong to; it seems a lot of people have difficulties with knowing when to cut. I’m not a “Please read my book so I can get your opinion/approval.” kind of person. I’m a protector of the body of work until it goes into the editing process, and even then, I am protective of what cannot be cut under any circumstance. Basically, I’m protective until it hits someone’s e-reader or shelf. After that, everyone that reads it will have an opinion and they are entitled to them. Unless someone is an absolute troll, the best thing for me to do is my job and allow everything else to simply be.