Fourth of July Caturday

Image 2020-07-042020-07-06 Miss Poison Caturday, July Caturday, Complex PTSD, July 4th, Observations, PTSD, Trauma

facebook_1593916315903_6685369579460518229 img_20200703_214118_505 facebook_1593581021954_6683963254712058215

This year was extremely frightening and traumatizing for my cats. They were terrified in a way I have never seen before and I pray I never see it again. I am outraged by the crap my neighbors pulled. The streets were full of smoke, cars couldn’t get through, and it was a major problem waiting to happen if, G-d forbid, an ambulance or fire truck needed to get through. Visibility was extremely poor. Whatever people are using that sounds like an explosion going off was awful for my own trauma history. I’m actually relieved I have a phone appointment with my doctor next week. This was BAD and continues to be worse with every passing moment.

Independence Day 2019

2019-07-042019-07-04 Miss Poison Independence Day, July Independence Day, July 4th, Musings

giphy-1 Wishing everyone a happy, healthy, SAFE 4th of July.

I’m honestly just waiting until Urgent Care reopens tomorrow afternoon. A nineteen day migraine is too much pain for anyone to endure. My headache specialist is out of the country, but her executive assistant promised that either my doctor or the covering attending would make sure that a note goes into my file, that way I get the correct treatment protocol. Worst case scenario; they have to page the doctor on call. That’s fine. But this girl ISN’T setting foot in their emergency room unless I’m completely dead.

My brother’s heart surgery is tomorrow morning. Quick prayer for him, mostly because he started a fight with me yesterday when I was verifying info with him and asked for the surgeon to call me and let me know he made it through. Apparently THAT is considered “dramatic”. No, it’s fucking realistic. I just CAN’T absorb anymore negativity or drama from a person who DOESN’T have their shit together or the emotional capacity to understand how concerned I am.

Basic facts: Showing someone love, support, and concern ISN’T “dramatic”. If I ask someone how they’re doing or if they’re okay, IT’S GENUINE CONCERN. I’m tired of people twisting my words and actions. In fact, I’m fucking sick of it. If you’re unsure what I mean; VERIFY, do NOT assume. Ugh.

For those unaffected by today, I hope your day was superior to mine. ✌

Independence Day

Image 2018-07-04 Miss Poison Independence Day, July Images/Photos/Quotes, Independence Day, July, July 4th

4th-1

It’s hard to be patriotic today, at least for me. Perhaps others are struggling with it, too. Regardless, I hope everyone is having a safe, happy, and healthy time.