Author’s Note: This does not pertain to the non-idiots of the world, of which the ratio seems to be smaller by the day. 

Patience is not my strong suit. It’s a fact, so I’m being clear about it. And yet, with my severe lack of patience, every idiot in the world is somehow finding me. Where the hell did all the smart people go?!

You can tell me I’m crazy, or you can simply nod in understanding. Take your pick. When I’m wrong, I say I’m wrong, but when I’m right…I am woman enough to admit it. Thankfully, I am often right, mainly because I don’t open my mouth if I’m 100% wrong. I’m smart enough not to. So, here’s my short list of pissed off rants.

• I purchased something on eBay that never arrived. I immediately requested a refund. The seller wanted me to wait another two weeks “in case it arrives late”. It didn’t. Now the seller is claiming that I cannot be refunded, “PayPal will not allow it”, and suggests they re-send the item which will take approximately TWO MONTHS to get here. If it didn’t arrive the first time, do they really think I want to wait another 45-60 days? I’m calling PayPal stat. FYI: This was not an expensive item. The whole point of using PayPal is to protect yourself from things of this nature. I’m starting to wonder what the hell compels me to occasionally purchase something from countries with questionable shipping regulations.                                                                                                                                                                                     
• A woman purchased a mineral foundation from me on eBay. My listing was clear, concise, and specifically states that I do not accept returns. She purchases, pays, and the item arrives. She leaves me positive feedback, and then files a “Request To Return Item” with eBay. UN-BELIEVABLE. eBay states that I do not have to accept returns because my listings all state that I don’t. She claims she “bought the wrong shade”. She bought it with plenty of time to spare and could have said something to me in advance of my shipping it, but instead, she paid right away and I shipped it to her. How do I warrant positive feedback and no personal message asking if I’ll accept a return if she states that she was satisfied with five-star feedback? I ALWAYS communicate directly with a seller if there’s even the slightest issue. I think we can all agree that I shouldn’t be forced to let her have a refund AND keep an item she opened when it was shipped sealed. I don’t think it’s my job to do the color research for her that she should have done at ANY store, or on the Internet. If you’re buying any type of foundation for the first time, test it out somewhere first, especially if you’re looking to save money by buying it on eBay. I’ve never bought foundation without first knowing the color would be a match, but if I did, I knew the company I was purchasing it from accepted returns within 30-120 days. This just plain irritates me.                                                                                                                                                                                                                  
• I stupidly offered to help out a fellow writer in January by editing her manuscript. She said she could not afford an editor, so I stepped up and said I would do it “in my spare time”. I was abundantly clear that I’d do it “in my spare time”. That actually means “when I have a few minutes, I’ll work on it, but not all at once”. It does not mean “I’ll prioritize your work like the customers that pay for my work”. I cannot afford to do that. I will treat her with the same respect and courtesy, yes, but is her manuscript my first working priority? No. I made that very clear. I don’t need a pat on the back for an act of kindness, but I’d really like the incessant whining e-mails to stop. The other day she sends me a message to ask if I think she should remove some characters (YES!), because she’s considering revising it by omitting a whole bunch, but also wants to flesh out others (all of a sudden. How much work does she expect for free?!?). I told her I could not make that decision for her and that if she is going to make that choice to forward me the revised manuscript at her convenience. I have a paying customer whose work I MUST focus on. (I did NOT say the last part, but I did want to locate a spoon to remove my eyeballs.)                                                                                                                                                                 
• How is that people take a simple discussion and make it all about religion? How is “I’m a Christian” an answer to something that does not involve religion AT ALL? The subject then turns to the painting ‘The Last Supper’ by Leonardo da Vinci. Any idiot with half a brain knows that this particular, not to mention famous, painting is not called “The Da Vinci Code”, right? I had to stifle myself from pulling out my own hair. No wonder other countries are so much smarter than Americans! Even better, some idiot says “I think it was supposed to be a metaphor.” Umm, NO. If you’re trying to debate with someone and you involve religion and a book that is probably based on some semblance of fact, then have the fucking facts, use spell check, and know what you’re talking about before you open your mouth. Moreover, a work of fiction has NOTHING to do with Jesus and your personal beliefs regarding such. (I’d say more on the subject, but it’s not a wise idea.)                                                                                                                                                                                                               
•  Another idiot asks if it’s okay to publish a book with all of the following: Spelling errors, poor grammar, broken thoughts, slurred words, etc., because she wants it to be “authentic” to having had a stroke and wants the readers to “be her” because she had to relearn everything after the stroke. I understand that. I’m not ignorant, but by disagreeing with a group of professionals, she turned a conversation from civil to vicious. I said that I’d hire someone to collaborate with her (NOT a ghost writer, but someone who can make all of her thoughts cohesive since her thoughts are all randomized due to memory loss.). She made a lot of excuses for herself to the point where the words “That is victim mentality.” finally were posted. Her response was “I AM a victim.” She also said “I am the stroke.” No, you’re not. The stroke happened to you, it is NOT who YOU are, and by allowing yourself to keep on thinking that, you encourage the victim mentality instead of growing from this tragedy and allowing yourself to move forward and heal. Why else would you want to tell a story about it? While I empathize with her plight, no publisher in their right mind would allow that to be greenlit the way she intended to do it. I do not know a single editor that would let that slide. It would be nonsensical gibberish and no one would be able to follow it, unless, perhaps, it was only released as an audiobook. I finally had to say “Good luck.”, because while the conversation started out well, it was going nowhere fast and was about to get ugly. The moderator stepped in and deleted the entire thing. How sad is that? You pretty much know you’re causing problems when someone out-right deletes everything you just said and, knowing how things are now, probably booted her or gave her a personal warning.                                                            

It comes down to this: The older I get, the less I understand people and the less I want to understand people. The things that bother people, based on what I’ve seen and heard, are pretty unimportant, superficial things. The things that people allow to slide are actually pretty serious issues, and yet everyone wants to sweep that shit underneath the thickest rug possible. I have to be true to myself and sweeping things under the rug isn’t how I do things.

Life is long, hard, and oftentimes, lonely as hell. When you go to someone in search of advice, it is ultimately still your decision whether or not to take that advice. I wish people would stop coming to me for quality advice and doing the exact opposite in the end, but hey, that’s THEIR issue, not mine. I generally don’t ask for advice because I was raised to trust myself and trust my intuition, but there are far too many people who insist on spewing stupidity at me, as if I asked for their opinion or advice. They don’t understand that their words aren’t warranted unless asked for.

It’s very important to me to be my authentic self, but sometimes I have to walk away from the idiots because in the grand scheme of things, they all seem to enjoy their idiocy way too much. I simply do not have time for that.

copyright © 2015 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.