I do feel as though we live in a world which promotes a lot of falsehoods. The idea that so many believe they are, “perfect” or use the term, “living my best life”, is ridiculous beyond words. It’s as though everyone is desperately trying to place Photoshop upon their reality. I can’t promote blatant lies, or the, “fake it ’til you make it” thought process. I’d rather celebrate the truth, even though it is difficult, dark, and miserable. At least it is honest.
I’m struggling and suffering. I am tired of apologizing for it, or worse, making myself feel even more horrible, as a result of not being able to do what I truly want to do each day. I’m battling through a lot and I honestly don’t know what the other side of things look like; or if I’ll make it there in time. There are a lot of unanswered questions, but I’m not going to hide the facts. I am a much better person for not pretending.
I am making a transition with this website, which involves some technological changes. Bear with me. I’ll get there as soon as I figure out my new business laptop. It arrived several days ahead of schedule and took me by surprise, leaving me mentally and emotionally unprepared. I’ve never received an expensive piece of technology without a tracking number before, so I felt jolted upon realizing what my delivery actually was. I wasn’t in the full headspace to do more than a basic set-up with it, but I will say it is beautiful. 🙂 I’m proud of myself for not just the purchase, but the overall investment into a new, but profound way to expand my voice and, hopefully, help others along the way.
In the meantime, I’m going to be working on my scars, among other things. I am not a failure because I refuse to pretend. I prefer to remain rooted in the reality of imperfection.