I am physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. I’d like to sit and cry, but I don’t even have the emotional capacity to do so today. I can’t remember the last time I felt so incredibly deadened.

I’ve spent an enormous chunk of my life taking care of others, being the dutiful daughter, being responsible and reliable, but now, all I want to do is not be anything. It’s not depression, per se, it’s having reached burnout. I’m not burnt out on work, but I am burnt out on almost all the exterior aspects of my life. Not all, because I am grateful for who and what I have in my life, but almost all.  Sometimes you just have to say “Enough!” to all the nonsense and all the craziness, and retreat. You’re not defeated, you just need rest. You need love and support, and people who can be relied upon no matter what. You don’t want or need drama. And that is precisely how I feel. To sit here today and write would be false, and I’m not going to do it.

In fact, I am going to go back to sleep and give myself some “self-care”. I slept horribly last night, and woke feeling like I’d waged war. It feels very “Lord Of The Rings” inside my head. Maybe after a few hours of sleep and a shower, I will start feeling human again. I cannot speak for tomorrow or anything else, I can only say I have to take care of me.

I hope everyone has a phenomenal Saturday. Don’t forget to do something nice for yourself this weekend.

copyright © 2014 by Lisa Marino & Blackbird Serenity LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.